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afterlife
November 2009 
The Agony of Difference: A Cry for Help
Posted on Nov 15th, 2008
by 
Harley Quinn
Harley Quinn
The age old question: Which religion will really save you?
I grew up Christian and have been almost forced into a black & white point of view that there is a Heaven and a Hell, and only one religion will get you to Heaven. This crushes me. Many of my friends are not Christian, and my current boyfriend is one of them. I love them all very much, but when i moved in with my boyfriend the pain of my “knowledge” became too much for me. The thought of this man I love so much being sent to a place so terrible for eternity….
I think I the hardest thing for me to deal with is knowing that the person I love is not a Christian. Have you ever felt a pain so searing? When you know that there is nothing you can do but pray and be there with information, you feel so utterly helpless. It might be selfish of me, but I don't want him to die and find out that I was right all along about the heaven and hell thing. I'm so desperate to save him, but I know I can't. He is the only one who can save himself. Jesus is the only one, really, but by accepting Jesus, you save yourself. I don't know how to deal with this pain. To love someone so dearly and know that they aren't safe is so torturous. And it's not just one person. SO MANY people I love are so adamantly opposed to Christianity, and nothing I say can convince them. I know they have to find it on their own. But I am just so freaking SCARED that they never will.
This is a conversation I had about this topic:
nachtschatten047 (10:36:25 PM): I'm just worried again nachtschatten047 (10:36:26 PM): about Jon nachtschatten047 (10:36:31 PM): I'm scared Firerose19 (10:36:37 PM): aw why? nachtschatten047 (10:36:52 PM): He doesn't beleive in anything really
nachtschatten047 (10:37:13 PM): and for a while, I was so scared to even beleive myself, because it would mean something awful Firerose19 (10:37:38 PM): mm….yeah. i'm so close to my dad and i really don't know if he's a christian
Firerose19 (10:37:55 PM): and my grandfather…i'm thinking no…..i dunno about my grandmother
nachtschatten047 (10:38:38 PM): I have to remind myself that there are no tears in heaven, and that i will be fine. But still how can I be happy in heaven if i know so many people who won't be Firerose19 (10:39:12 PM): yeah. i really really don't know Firerose19 (10:39:29 PM): it doesn't make much sense nachtschatten047 (10:42:01 PM): the only way is for me to forget my religion which is extremely counterproductive, or wait to see if he gets”saved” and do everything I can to help nachtschatten047 (10:43:21 PM): But here's my biggest problem. Religion pushes him away, and if I were the one to preach it, he would most likely break up with me, and I'm so selfish in that regard, so scared of that, that I back off
nachtschatten047 (10:43:32 PM): and choose the counterproductive option
Firerose19 (10:43:47 PM): yeah.
Firerose19 (10:43:54 PM): i have no idea how i would reach my dad Firerose19 (10:44:07 PM): i know he's heard so much from my mom Firerose19 (10:44:27 PM): and he just acquiesces to everything….but i just don't know that it's very real
nachtschatten047 (10:44:29 PM): But you're his daughter, if he hears it from you, it might mean something different? Firerose19 (10:44:30 PM): at all
Firerose19 (10:44:53 PM): maybe. but i don't know if he'd take it seriously. he's heard it form me and danielle since we were kids Firerose19 (10:45:04 PM): and he would tell us he is to reassure us Firerose19 (10:45:50 PM): and even though he started going to church again since he doesn't work that job that he worked on sundays anymore, i think it's more of a family thing to make my mom happy than anything else
nachtschatten047 (10:46:26 PM): hm..
Firerose19 (10:47:08 PM): i really haven't thought about it too much in a while, tho…lol…i feel like a bad person… Firerose19 (10:47:19 PM): but i'm just afraid of sounding like my mother
nachtschatten047 (10:47:30 PM): ignoring it puts up a wall, to pretend it isnt a problem
nachtschatten047 (10:48:03 PM): i've been very religiously ignorant for the past 4 months…
I grew up Christian and have been almost forced into a black & white point of view that there is a Heaven and a Hell, and only one religion will get you to Heaven. This crushes me. Many of my friends are not Christian, and my current boyfriend is one of them. I love them all very much, but when i moved in with my boyfriend the pain of my “knowledge” became too much for me. The thought of this man I love so much being sent to a place so terrible for eternity….
I think I the hardest thing for me to deal with is knowing that the person I love is not a Christian. Have you ever felt a pain so searing? When you know that there is nothing you can do but pray and be there with information, you feel so utterly helpless. It might be selfish of me, but I don't want him to die and find out that I was right all along about the heaven and hell thing. I'm so desperate to save him, but I know I can't. He is the only one who can save himself. Jesus is the only one, really, but by accepting Jesus, you save yourself. I don't know how to deal with this pain. To love someone so dearly and know that they aren't safe is so torturous. And it's not just one person. SO MANY people I love are so adamantly opposed to Christianity, and nothing I say can convince them. I know they have to find it on their own. But I am just so freaking SCARED that they never will.
This is a conversation I had about this topic:
nachtschatten047 (10:36:25 PM): I'm just worried again nachtschatten047 (10:36:26 PM): about Jon nachtschatten047 (10:36:31 PM): I'm scared Firerose19 (10:36:37 PM): aw why? nachtschatten047 (10:36:52 PM): He doesn't beleive in anything really
nachtschatten047 (10:37:13 PM): and for a while, I was so scared to even beleive myself, because it would mean something awful Firerose19 (10:37:38 PM): mm….yeah. i'm so close to my dad and i really don't know if he's a christian
Firerose19 (10:37:55 PM): and my grandfather…i'm thinking no…..i dunno about my grandmother
nachtschatten047 (10:38:38 PM): I have to remind myself that there are no tears in heaven, and that i will be fine. But still how can I be happy in heaven if i know so many people who won't be Firerose19 (10:39:12 PM): yeah. i really really don't know Firerose19 (10:39:29 PM): it doesn't make much sense nachtschatten047 (10:42:01 PM): the only way is for me to forget my religion which is extremely counterproductive, or wait to see if he gets”saved” and do everything I can to help nachtschatten047 (10:43:21 PM): But here's my biggest problem. Religion pushes him away, and if I were the one to preach it, he would most likely break up with me, and I'm so selfish in that regard, so scared of that, that I back off
nachtschatten047 (10:43:32 PM): and choose the counterproductive option
Firerose19 (10:43:47 PM): yeah.
Firerose19 (10:43:54 PM): i have no idea how i would reach my dad Firerose19 (10:44:07 PM): i know he's heard so much from my mom Firerose19 (10:44:27 PM): and he just acquiesces to everything….but i just don't know that it's very real
nachtschatten047 (10:44:29 PM): But you're his daughter, if he hears it from you, it might mean something different? Firerose19 (10:44:30 PM): at all
Firerose19 (10:44:53 PM): maybe. but i don't know if he'd take it seriously. he's heard it form me and danielle since we were kids Firerose19 (10:45:04 PM): and he would tell us he is to reassure us Firerose19 (10:45:50 PM): and even though he started going to church again since he doesn't work that job that he worked on sundays anymore, i think it's more of a family thing to make my mom happy than anything else
nachtschatten047 (10:46:26 PM): hm..
Firerose19 (10:47:08 PM): i really haven't thought about it too much in a while, tho…lol…i feel like a bad person… Firerose19 (10:47:19 PM): but i'm just afraid of sounding like my mother
nachtschatten047 (10:47:30 PM): ignoring it puts up a wall, to pretend it isnt a problem
nachtschatten047 (10:48:03 PM): i've been very religiously ignorant for the past 4 months…
Access: Public
how far down the rabbit hole are you prepared to go?
As far as it takes to come to some enlightenment in the issue…. Solved or not, I want to better understand this situation and what I can do about it, whether it be coming to terms with what will happen either way or doing something about it to change it. I am open to anything.
The age old answer to the age old question: No religion can save you. Only you can save you.
I was led here this morning by friend Nightphoenix's comment. I hope I'm not intruding, but I am touched by your loving pain.
As a fellow Aries, Dear One, our love is fiercely passionate - sometimes self-sacrificially. With me, there is the tendency to “lay down my life” to the detriment of all. But I have learned that peace is the password that opens the answers to human quandaries. “Be still and know…”
The juxtaposition of your first two sentences is telling. I do not wish to offend when I say that perhaps it is the interpretation of Christianity that “crushes” you. There is much that I would share with you, but consider just this one thing for now: Jesus was inclusive. It is against everything he stood for and taught that he should abruptly turn his back on that abiding principle at point of human transition to the next realm.
You have said that your friend “doesn't believe in anything.” I believe he does but may not find acceptance to speak of it. Jesus was welcome in many homes of people from all walks and beliefs. I suspect that it was because he listened equally as much as he preached - just as any beloved friend does. And, Jesus didn't preach divisiveness and tearing down, but of loving unity and building up.
In your pain, pray, study and listen for the truth. If your relationship is truly with Jesus, he will ease your pain and bring you peace and a broader perspective.
In Sincere Love - Be Well in Your Trip!