Anger is an emotion, like any other.  It is healthy to release your anger in productive ways.  As long as your fist doesn't come in contact with the other person's nose, you can punch and kick and flail all you want.  This thought was brought on by actor Christian Bale's recent blow-up over a distraction during one of his scenes. 
I chose to insert the techno remix to keep things a little bit more lighthearted. :)
Understandably, Bale was irate over the interruption to the emotional scene he was shooting at the time.  As an actor, you must become the character you play, feeling their emotion and working yourself up emotionally to catch the drama of whatever situation your character is placed in.  This takes time and concentration.  I can understand that a random guy walking through the middle of a scene you have worked hard to perfect would upset you.  As to Bale's foul language and relentless insults, I wonder if perhaps he was still in character. 
Anger is an emotion that I find myself feeling very inwardly.  I am not often observed openly yelling or throwing fits about something.  Instead, I feel my anger as a mix of anxiety and sadness, unless my anger is at myself.  In that case, if I am alone with my feelings, I rant and rave at the mirror, or my stuffed animals, or the walls about how pissed I am that things are going the way they are.  I rarely hurt myself anymore, but if I am angry at myself for hurting someone I love, I tend to take that out on myself physically.  In the most recent example, I told someone I care for that there was someone else that I loved.  It hurt him and I knew it, and it was the hardest thing for me to bear. 

Silence is a beautiful thing.  The modern world is filled with noise that is nearly inescapable.  Even a quiet office has ringing phones, printer noises, the humming of the air conditioning.  It is extremely rare that we are blessed with true silence.  Silence  is conducive to deeper meditation, stress relief, and more, however, there are situations in which silence can be so invasive that it becomes painful.  Like when you tell a bad joke and no one laughs, or you walk onto the stage to get your diploma and you trip and fall, or when you tell someone you love them deeply and madly and ask them if they feel the same.  In all of these situations, silence can hurt more than a punch in the mouth, and occasionally a punch would be preferable.  However, the effect of silence is one that is chosen by the affected, as with all reactions to events in life.  If no one laughs at your joke you don't need to feel insulted.  If the room goes completely quiet when you trip no one is making you feel embarrassed.  Even if your love is unrequited you have the option to move on or be patient and keep loving them. 

Silence.





The silence of the two men in my life that I care for the most worries me. 
With Jon, I know he is safe and healthy, living a life that he is content with.  The worry comes from my own insecurity.  I want him to talk to me.  I want to share my life with him and I want him to share with me as well.  Since that is not happening, I at least want him to communicate what he wants.  I want to know why he wont talk and what I should do.  I am letting his 3 month silence bother me.
When it comes to Anthony, it's a bit of a different story.  I know Anthony enjoys talking to me, but at some point all communication stopped, even from his roommate.  I believe that something has happened to him that leaves him jobless, and therefore he has no money to pay for internet or phone bills.  I think he is safe, but I am still worried that he has not found a way to tell me what is wrong.  This has lasted about 3 weeks at this point.

Perhaps I should use silence to negate the effects of silence.

Heartbreak, to be a little bit more on the blue side of things.  There are no words that can describe the pain you feel in your heart after somone you love betrays you or is taken out of your life.  Once you have given your heart to another, you have opened yourself up completely to them.  The vulnerability you present to them magnifies the pain you feel when they use you or leave you.  It's like you are literally opening yourself up, unzipping your skin, to expose your beating heart, and they take a hot branding iron and scar that delicate organ forever.  (did I just use words to describe it? Yes I did)  Perhaps that does describe it well, but I think there is so much more to it than that... and that... is what I have no words for.
Y'know. 

Alone again, and I can't help but give in to the little tugs of loneliness here and there.  There isn't anything wrong with being single, but on a day where it seems like everyone but you is spending time with that special someone, it's hard not to grab some random person to cuddle with.  I have a very prominent tendency to be polyamorous while I'm single, having several interests that ultimately leave me with only two decisions: pick one and end up hurting the other and yourself, or choose neither.  Arg.  I hope this doesn't happen this time around.

This Valentine's Day is going to last all weekend, starting today and ending on Tuesday.  It's a long weekend for me here at college and my roommate has gone to visit her boyfriend, leaving me here in the dorm alone for 4 days.  I normally welcome this solitude with open arms, but like I said, seeing everyone else driving off with people they love makes the atmoshphere a little more melancholy for me.  I suppose I'll just watch movies and work out.  I do need to excercise much more than I do.  I'm approaching my first 3 pounds of "The Freshman 15".  Trouble is getting myself off my ass and over to the gym.

Physically, in the woods.  Spiritually, I hide behind my hyperactivity.  I can be in a horrible state of low self-esteem, but if I act like I'm happy or crazy hyper on some form of sugar, not only am I distracted from my own insecurity but no one around me notices how truly unhappy I am, except for the select few who have enough wisdom to see right through me.

OMG.  So, I have started out my college experience with excellent marks.  I have A's in every class, though I fear it will be short-lived.  I'm falling back into that old pattern of just not doing anything.  From way back in first grade I had an aversion to doing any actual homework, whether or not it was difficult for me.  Most of the time I had the ability to complete my assignment in less than 10 minutes, but motivating myself to actually do it took hours.  I can recognize the same pattern now, so many years later.  I realized it last week, when I showed up in class completely unaware of the quiz that day.  Now I fear I might do the same thing with an exam, and that would be the death of me.  In fact, I think I will study right now, just to be safe! O.O