Silence

Silence is a beautiful thing.  The modern world is filled with noise that is nearly inescapable.  Even a quiet office has ringing phones, printer noises, the humming of the air conditioning.  It is extremely rare that we are blessed with true silence.  Silence  is conducive to deeper meditation, stress relief, and more, however, there are situations in which silence can be so invasive that it becomes painful.  Like when you tell a bad joke and no one laughs, or you walk onto the stage to get your diploma and you trip and fall, or when you tell someone you love them deeply and madly and ask them if they feel the same.  In all of these situations, silence can hurt more than a punch in the mouth, and occasionally a punch would be preferable.  However, the effect of silence is one that is chosen by the affected, as with all reactions to events in life.  If no one laughs at your joke you don't need to feel insulted.  If the room goes completely quiet when you trip no one is making you feel embarrassed.  Even if your love is unrequited you have the option to move on or be patient and keep loving them. 

Silence.





The silence of the two men in my life that I care for the most worries me. 
With Jon, I know he is safe and healthy, living a life that he is content with.  The worry comes from my own insecurity.  I want him to talk to me.  I want to share my life with him and I want him to share with me as well.  Since that is not happening, I at least want him to communicate what he wants.  I want to know why he wont talk and what I should do.  I am letting his 3 month silence bother me.
When it comes to Anthony, it's a bit of a different story.  I know Anthony enjoys talking to me, but at some point all communication stopped, even from his roommate.  I believe that something has happened to him that leaves him jobless, and therefore he has no money to pay for internet or phone bills.  I think he is safe, but I am still worried that he has not found a way to tell me what is wrong.  This has lasted about 3 weeks at this point.

Perhaps I should use silence to negate the effects of silence.