I Am Rubber, You Are Glue

There was a minor upset in my personal life tonight.  It would not have bothered me so much if I had not been ruthlessly shamed.  It is of no fault but my own, however, I have never been much like rubber.  In fact, I think I may even be glue of the cyanoacrylate variety.  I remember very clearly one particular insult directed specifically at me in the seventh grade.  "Elise you're so annoying!" 

Not much to the casual observer.

Devastating to insecure little me. I am definately not rubber because it has stuck with me for 6 years.

Now, all these years later, a much more colorful insult, along with one of my own (that he openly agreed with) was thrown my way.  I'm trying hard to be rubber this time, and let it just bounce back off.  But being called a dumbass for breaking trust (even with a most untrustworthy guy) really hit me hard.  This man I speak of and I were chatting online when a random "So when are you gonna send me some more pictures?" comes up.  Now this man was not speaking of nature photography, or a baby album.  My past holds many insecurities and I often try to find acceptance in the wrong places.  I have been trying so hard to put that past behind me, and I am really doing a great job.  When this man asked, I said "No, I won't be doing that anymore. I've chosen to grow up."  He was outwardly receptive to the idea, and wasn't giving me any trouble, but when I copy/pasted the conversation to my friend to show him how well I was doing, he went behind my back to threaten and intimidate the man.  This is when the insults started coming.  The guy asks me, "Who is _______?" and I just blanched.  All I could say was "Oh no" and he replies with "you're a dumbass". 

I died.

I cursed at my close friend.

I threw a fit and felt as if my world was falling apart.

It was a very hard thing for me to deal with, but I'm forcing myself to see it how I should:  This man was not worthy of my presence, and I need no scum like him to make me feel wanted.